This weekend I went to northern California. Rick Hazelip, Jeff Sandstrom and I flew into San Francisco, rented a car and drove across the Golden Gate Bridge to Santa Rosa.

The weather was near-perfect. The scenery was more than two eyes could take in. The sights, sounds and tastes were so overwhelming that we found ourselves praying on a near-continuous basis: “Thank you God for this!”

The one black eye came early. As we were getting settled in the hotel, I went out to the rental car to retrieve my briefcase so I could check my email. On my way back into the hotel, I was hurrying to catch the elevator. An older gentleman was holding it for me. I reached into my pocket for my room key, and the keys to the rental car slipped out, slid across the floor toward the elevator and fell down the two-inch-gap between the hotel floor and the elevator — falling down the elevator shaft!

The older gentleman and I both watched the keys, following them with our eyes as they slid across the floor and then down the gap. It was almost as if we were hypnotized by them or stunned into disbelief that such large keys could fit in such a tiny space. After they fell and were gone from sight, he looked up at me and said, “That’s the most unluckiest thing I ever saw.”

Fitting words.

I went straight to the front desk and was told that it’s against the law for anyone other than the “elevator people” to go down there and there’s no way they’re coming out for this. I did look down the gap with a flashlight later and saw credit cards, earrings, wrist watches. Apparently, this has happened before. The “elevator people” don’t come out to look for lost items.

So, the next call was to the rental car company. They sent a locksmith who opened the car (so I could get my suitcase and rental car contract). But they could not cut a key that would start the engine. Modern technology has allowed car manufacturers to insert some kind of computer chip into each key. When you insert the key into the ignition, the ignition switch asks the key a question. If the key doesn’t answer correctly, you can turn on the electricity in the car (radio, air vents, windshield wipers, etc.), but you cannot get the engine to turn over.

This was turning into a most unluckiest thing.

The next call was back to the rental car company who sent a tow-truck. I got to ride all the way back to the airport with the tow driver, a nice man named Mike or Joe or Stan or something like that. We talked about his troubled marriage most of the ride.

Back at the rental car company, I got to endure the “Oh-you’re-that-guy-who-lost-the-keys” routine for about 20 minutes. I got to tell the “most unluckiest thing I ever saw” story about five times. “Hey, Louise, you gotta hear this guy’s story. I never heard nothing like it before. Go on, Mr. Turner, tell her.”

Finally, on my way back to Santa Rosa, the fog had rolled in and was so thick I was across the bridge before I even knew I was on it! I met up with the guys and my sister and brother-in-law for a late dinner (especially for those of us on Eastern Standard Time). But the food we enjoyed and the conversations we had that night were so wonderful.

I learned that it’s possible to be unlucky and blessed at the same time.

One of the things I talked with Mike/Joe/Stan the tow-truck driver about was the idea of happiness. He said his current relationship with his wife (she’s not really his wife, but they’ve been together for a long time and he refers to her as his wife) is frustrating at times. They have a good time together, but she came with baggage in the form of two failed marriages and four kids. He wonders if he’s missing out on something by staying in his current relationship. He wonders what it would be like to be with a woman who doesn’t have that kind of past or those kind of responsibilities. He wonders what it would be like to have kids of his own. He was looking for someone to give him permission to get out.

He had talked to his dad, and his dad told him to just “do what makes you happy.”

I said, “With all due respect, that’s terrible advice. I’m sure your father’s a fine man, and he means well. But you can’t just ‘do whatever makes you happy’. Life doesn’t work like that.”

Mike/Joe/Stan looked at me like I was an alien.

I continued, “There’s got to be something deeper than happy. I’m not very happy right now because of the day I’ve had. Circumstances change. Someone could run a red light right now [we were on 19th Avenue by this time], and ram into your truck. You wouldn’t be happy anymore, right? Happiness allows other people too much control. Happiness isn’t internally regulated. It’s dependent upon too many other things that are out of my control.”

He was nodding his head and seemed to be understanding what I was saying, so I continued.

“There’s such a thing as joy, and joy doesn’t come and go based on the circumstances. Joy is often experienced “in spite of” bad things that happen. A lot of times I find myself experiencing joy as a result of showing integrity. When I do what I said I was going to do — even though it got hard. When I don’t turn away from difficulties. When I keep a promise. When I tell the truth even though it would be easier to lie. Those things bring me joy — in spite of how things turn out. When I know I did the right thing I can look at myself in the mirror and know.”

By this time we were at the airport and had to say goodbye. I have no way of knowing whether Mike/Joe/Stan will stay in his “marriage” or not. But I do know that it’s possible to be unlucky and experience joy at the same time.

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